It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
