i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
