great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
