i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
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