everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
