I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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