another moral hangover. fuck.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Randomize
