Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
