At least make sure they are 18
Why
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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