so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
