Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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