i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize