i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
