theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
