Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
