i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
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