I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
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