you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
