Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage