I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize