I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins