I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
