Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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