it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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