Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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