Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
