No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
