someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
