I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
