Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
