Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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