did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
