He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Found your dick twin last night
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
