I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
