Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
