I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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