You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
my shit smells like andre
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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