New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
