i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize