I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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