i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
