I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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