This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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