I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
