For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
