We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
