Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
