After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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