I looked at my own cervix.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh god it's open bar.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
