Three words: puerto rican gang bang
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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