People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
