'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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