i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
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