at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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