Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
