im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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