I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
