we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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